Dear Bob,

reno.jpgI hope you'll come to Reno this weekend for two reasons. First, just think how fun the ride will be up here with The B-Man. Oh, how you'll laugh, the songs you'll sing, and the many cigarette breaks you'll take along the way. Also, please remember, if you ever again want to see a fat woman peeing in the street from the comfort of her car seat at a rest stop, you'll have to hit the road.

images-2.jpegSecond, I am a big fan of Debbie Reynolds. I've seen her show before and she is quite the entertainer–old school style. No wait, she is THE entertainer. Glamorous, funny, and just a bit risqué. Oh, she'll make you laugh, you'll hum along with her songs, and, we can smoke and drink cocktails in the casino.

nev128.gifSpeaking of the casino–John Ascuaga's Nugget—The B-Man used to work there in his salad days. Won't it be fun to hear him talk of his stage pals, Bertha and Tina? A wonderful evening guaranteed.

images-5.jpegAnd guess what? It's an all expense paid vacation! You can stay in your own bedroom in my parent's spacious mansion. With your own bathroom! Or you can stay in a fabulous hotel room overlooking the 24-hour lifestyle of downtown's main drag. Meals, drinks, entertainment, gas, and a Reno gay bar full of drunk cowboys. Plus, a five-dollar roll of nickels!

Why, you're a winner already! Unless, you don't go.

Come join us, please.

Love – Me

PS:
A few years after The B-Man quit working at the Nugget, Tina went rogue and had to be put down. Jeez, The B-Man sure has an affect, don't you think?

PPS:
images-83.jpegAnother reason you should go is because I won't have anyone to smoke with in the casino, and who else would be as fun as you to discuss all the blue-hairs and the egregious outfits they wear while puffing on a nice fag? Wouldn't it be nice to smoke inside, without shame, with me? I think yes.

PPPS:
I, too, went rogue a few years after separating from The B-Man. Thank goodness he didn’t put me down.

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