Remember Jennifer Wilbanks? She’s the “Runaway Bride” who took off just days before her expensive wedding last year and became a world-wide media sensation. You may also remember a hit movie from 1999 about the same subject starring the beautiful Julia Roberts and the handsome Richard Gere.

(Is it just me, or did they both seem to be extra gay in that movie? Or, maybe it’s just Julia, because I think the same thing about her and Keanu Reeves when they work together.)

Anyway, Jennifer–who, I am sorry to say, looks rather horse-faced–and her jilted lover sold their story to an agent for $500,000. And then the groom-not-to-be ran off and spent all the money.

Who doesn’t love irony?

She’s suing to get it all back, of course.

I’m confused. What exactly is the president protecting the sanctity of marriage from: same-sex couples who truly love one another, or the chance for shameless, selfish heterosexuals to make a buck?

Don’t even get me started on Liza Minelli and David Guest.