Dear Nevada Girl,

In regard to your recent blog entry about Billy, there are a few things you should be aware of. First, Billy is not Briter’s cousin, but someone he met at the Greyhound bus station.

Second, Billy stayed with us for awhile after his girlfriend kicked him out. Weirdly enough, her name was Cha Cha, too.

Finally, he is in Reno because he is no longer welcome here for a certain incident involving one of the neighbor’s pets which was captured by their security camera.

Truth be told, the picture may not actually be Billy, but the neighbor’s barely tolerate Briter as it is, so we said no more monkeys. We wish Billy and Monique the best future together and advise Monique to buy lots and lots of insurance.

My Life In Reno

PS: We noticed all of Billy’s girlfriends have stripper names. What’s up with that?