So asks the BBC News and reports on the state of redheads in England which sounds like a total bummer. I grew up hearing only a few taunts about my hair (which used to be really orange) but they had no sting.You should know “carrot-top” is the lamest thing ever to call a redhead since the tops of carrots are green and have leaves. Why not just call me a “carrot?” You’re not insulting me, you’re just embarrassing yourself.

Anyway, according to the article, the Brits have it all over us when it comes to name calling:

Carrot-top, copper-top, ginger-nut, ginger minger, bluey (among Australians), Duracell, Ronald McDonald, Simply Red, Queen Elizabeth. And so on for hours and hours of the typical redhead’s life.

The Australians are predictably cryptic and I’d consider Duracell a compliment. And oh, what wouldn’t I give to be called a ginger minger on the way to Reno on a crowded Greyhound bus! The mind boggles at the thought.

The article makes it sound like our British cousins have it much worse over there. They envy redheaded women in the USA who are seen as “alluring, beautiful,” and “glamorous” which, funny enough, are the same words used to describe my sister, “Nevada Girl,” so it must be true.

The whole article is a fascinating read and full of interesting theories and opinions about redheads such as we bleed more but also have a higher tolerance for pain. And it’s all caused by a mutated MC1R gene! “Ginger minger mutant!” THAT’s the dream insult I’d like thrown my way!