He said “I miss your writing” and I thought no one had ever said “I love you” better.

Oh Lordy, it’s good to say hello again to you, Dear Reader. You would not believe what we’ve been through since the last time we touched base. It’s been crazier than a cat lady in a thunderstorm here and the shame of it all is–I can’t go into any great detail about any of it! However, there are some highlights I CAN share:

First, if you find yourself down in Southern Nevada and run across a space ship in the desert like The B-Man and I did, and start taking pictures, do not be surprised if some scary Army guys come up and take your camera away. Also, they will not find your impression of Dr. Smith from Lost in Space the least bit funny. Anyway, for secret government reasons, I can’t share much about that particular incident, but, I for one, welcome our new insect overlords.

I also can’t tell you much of what Mr. Brenda’s been doing during the interim, either…for legal reasons! He won’t even tell us! All we know is he says he’s under house arrest and has to wear one of those ankle bracelet things. He’s been gluing rhinestones all over it trying to make it look more like Paris Hilton’s cell phone. It looks pretty good except for where he burned his leg which is why you shouldn’t use a hot glue-gun if you’ve been drinking.

As for Briter, he’s been traveling around the country with the Dennis Kucinich campaign. Briter loved the guy and rushed to help his candidacy, but it turn’s out the Kucinich people had very little use for someone whose main talent was flinging monkey poo. He’s kind of depressed about the whole experience and doesn’t want to talk about it. Poor little guy. (I mean Briter; I don’t have any idea how Mr. Kucinich feels since they blocked our phone number shortly after Briter came home.)

And there you are, Dear Reader–all caught up with the events here! I want to wish you all a Happy Valentine’s day, too. You don’t need to go out and buy expensive gifts for your honey; there are many ways to show how much you love him, like saying you want him to start writing again.

Hey, Mr. B-Man, I love you! Will you be my valentine?

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